And so I’ve come to the end of my Rolfing sessions. Although it’s really not the end. I know this.
Rolfing has enriched my life in so many ways and I know it will continue to do so. What has happened over my course of the 10 sessions has been invaluable. Truly. I hope I can do it justice enough in this final blog.
I have been lifted, I have been grounded, I have felt my body awake, my mind awake. I have cried tears of joy, tears of pain. I have gone through feelings and emotions that I had forgotten were there.
My final few sessions have been some of the most powerful. The recent work Aidan did on my arms for example. I remember the session well from a few weeks ago and left feeling strong and in control…what happened over that next week was empowering. To explain, I have never felt I had the guts or the power to hold my boundary. My forcefield if you will. After the session where Aidan worked on my arms I noticed myself annoyed by some people, even friends. I had seen clearer than ever how many feel they can walk over me, take me for granted, ask too much. I was feeling frustrated.
As a result of the work we had done I found the power to say “No!”
Please let me reitterate how hard I find this word in the need to please all. Well not now, I was saying “no, not on, I don’t need this, I wont accept this, I deserve better, I have done enough.” More than ever in my life. And rather than seeing and feeling anger and frustration as a negative…I felt good. For the first time in a long time, if ever…
I found my true core and grit to say “no more” and to know what I deserve, as the woman I am, as the friend I am, as the actress I am, as the Daughter I am, as the sister I am.
When I went back into the next session, and I explained how I was feeling to Aidan, his smile was one of admiration, even a beam of pride at me…this was what arm work was about and my body had responded. My mind and body were becoming more alive with each session. How wonderful is that? To be 32 years old and to still be learning, to still be growing, to be experiencing more than ever. For me it felt delightful. It felt strong. It felt like I was unlocking my real potential and ideals as a young woman. It was a real and full moment.
The next session we worked on what I can only describe as the form of my body, more work on my sides again but in more detail. This for me is more personal so I will refrain from going too deep into it, only to say I allowed myself to open up to the warmth and love of my being and form.
And so to the end…but the start of an extra special journey. My last session. We reflected on the high points and low points. What I realised was that the low points were anything but…as coming out of them made me stronger. Made me learn more about myself. The period of anxiety and panic attacks I suffered…that made me acknowledge my fears. It made me reflect on past griefs, made me understand myself more. It made me stronger. The way I started to walk taller, to open up, to know my space and to feel the ground beneath me.
My confidence in myself has grown. I am calmer and I am more centered. Many of my close family and friends have commented on the change in me…for good.
The worrying, the fear, the uncertainties of life. I can handle them. Being able to ask myself in times of doubt…’What do I need right now’ and following it up. Allowing myself to stop and breath. How my body and mind has changed and adapted is down to my work with Aidan and his work with me.
It’s one of the dearest partnerships in my life.
I am lucky to have gone through it with such a kind, caring, perseptive, talented, intuative man and friend. I can’t recommend Rolfing with Aidan highly enough. I know whole heartedly that Rolfing will now be part of my life for always and there will be more sessions to come in time. The work continues, the journey carries on. Aidan I can’t thank you enough.